Thursday, January 28, 2010

Diarrhea


There are few things worse than having horrible diarrhea. However there are many things that can make having horrible diarrhea even worse. Here's a couple that uh, um, a friend of mine experienced the other day:

Making Diarrhea Worse #1: Riding 50 Kilometers on bumpy roads to visit the future in-laws.

Making Diarrhea Worse #2: Being force fed dinner upon arriving at the future-in-laws.

Making Diarrhea Worse #3: Being force fed all the parts of a fish that you normally consider gross but Vietnamese consider the best parts (i.e. the egg sack inside the female fish).

Making Diarrhea Worse #4: Having to sit on the floor, cross legged, while your girlfriend translates "Ben has diarrhea" to her parents. I mean, "Ben's friend has diarrhea."

Making Diarrhea Worse #5: Being given traditional medicine by your girlfriend's parents. The medicine (I'm pretty sure Tiger Balm) is applied by rubbing it directly onto your stomach. After a couple of minutes your stomach starts to burn. So your stomach and butt are now on fire.

Making Diarrhea Worse #6: Having explosive fart noises which most likely could be heard through wooden doors in a large house and can definitely be heard through a screen door in a small Vietnamese house.

Making Diarrhea Worse #7: Having to share a bed with your girlfriend's brother while your stomach feels like it could erupt at any minute.